Musicality

It’s no secret to anyone that I suck at music. More accurately, I’ve never really put a bunch of effort into learning an instrument. I’ve tried a few, and don’t appear to have any real talent. My fingers don’t like to cooperate with my brain (which may also be why I suck at yarn crafts and videogames that aren’t puzzles), and I’m not very mathy. Plus, practicing an instrument is SOOOO repetitive that my mind starts to melt after about…

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Helpful Tips for Nazis

Dear Nazis, Congratulations! American apathy and misplaced aggression have created an environment that has allowed you emerge proudly from your hidey holes. You white supremacists have always had a wealth of pride, but ya’ll don’t even wear masks anymore. You present yourself as ‘bravely’ unafraid of the repercussions of your bullshit–which can only mean that you either think most people agree with you, or that the few who DO agree with you are powerful enough to protect you from those…

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Nazis

I live in a country with Nazis in it.They helped elect the POTUS, who does not denounce white supremacy.Coincidentally, he does not know even the most basic aspects of world (or even US) history. Which I guess means we’re all condemned to repeat it. Or we would, if climate change wasn’t going to kill us all first. One thing’s for certain…I’m going to continue to smoke as much pot as I fucking want to, because I am sad and hopeless…

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Brain vacation

One time, my electric toothbrush battery died. Instead of just brushing analog like a normal person, I stood there frozen–wondering how on earth I was gonna brush my teeth that day. I had to go to work! I couldn’t NOT brush them…This went down in history as my most absurdly absent-minded life events ever. Not a big deal, just a “holy crap, that was dumb” situation. Today, my friends, I think I beat it. We get tons of packages because…

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The Dead Are Coming for Us All…

Drones are my new favorite thing in the world. We’re getting one with a brushless motor this week. It’s supposed to be super badass, even though it doesn’t have a camera on it. I’m stoked. The one we tried this weekend was good. Another foldable: Today I’m getting one of those 3D writing pens for review. I paid a little money for it, because I’d been wanting one. It was 85% off, so I’m not gonna complain about that.It uses…

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Summer, it’s a thing now.

My typical plan for summer is to stay the hell inside with so much air on that I sometimes get high and think it’s fall. Because heat sucks. Global warming and I are totally not going to get along. Spent a week house sitting while my more talented friends headed to SDCC. Got to play with doggies and kittens and watch a TV as big as my bed with a stereo louder than that really loud kid upstairs. We watched…

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Ending Up

When I was a kid, the phrase “ended up” was heard often. It’s supposed to indicate the end of a story. “She ended up marrying that guy from two towns over.” As if that’s the last thing she ever did. Kinda reminds me of fairy tales that end with a wedding, as if that’s the last interesting thing that will ever happen to a person. The older I get, the more I realize that people don’t “end up” anywhere until…

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Selfishness

I’m going to be completely selfish in this post. What’s new, right? I am far too young to have lost so many classmates to early death. Sure, I’m almost 50, (well, turning 47 this year, so closer to 50 than 40) and that’s a lot more time than a lot of people get. Hell, it might be more time than most people get. I haven’t looked it up. At this point, I went to school with people who died and…

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I’m Sure I Don’t Know…but Radishes though.

I have a terrible track record when it comes to media and popularity. What I mean is, some of the new shows I hear about…I think are the most disgusting and offensive ideas ever. And then they become huge hits: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (stereotype much)The Biggest Loser (surely people know that’s unhealthy and fake)Storage Wars (strangers fight over cherished possessions of poor people)American Idol (mostly that beginning part where they mock sincere people)Dancing with the “Stars” (who…

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What ISN’T Offensive?

Did you see the piece in Teen Vogue about a makeup artist that transformed a white model, giving her the look of a woman of color? Apparently, people are calling this “blackface” and saying how super offensive it is. As you might think, I disagree. Obviously, whether someone is offended is between them and the art. My point is not to tell anyone that they shouldn’t be offended. But blackface and minstrel shows are not remotely the same as using…

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