The first year of…anything.

I’m nearing the one year anniversary of my involvement with the mag. Granted, the first issue of Under the Bed didn’t go live until August, but I started working for eFiction in June, and put out the last issue of eHorror before I magically transformed it into what it is today.

The first year was incredibly stressful, no doubt exacerbated by my own incompetence, the insane amount of pressure I was putting on myself, and my habit of grossly exaggerating the expected returns. Just like when I first got published, I presumed I’d make enough money the first year to buy a new computer. Without embarrassing us all with the actual numbers, let’s just say, I haven’t.

But you know, my first year at Shar was pretty terrible. I was in way over my head, having slightly exaggerated my own musical knowledge. After that, it got a lot better–which is to say, I got way better at it. I became more confident in the knowledge I did have, and better able to compensate for the stuff I didn’t know. After that, I just kept on learning things until I decided I didn’t like them anymore.

My first year of college was also difficult. When I got there, I was so incredibly scared and intimidated, I didn’t eat for almost 3 days because I didn’t want to be seen in the cafeteria alone. It got better though, as everything seems to if I stick it out long enough.

So I guess that’s the pattern. The first year of anything worthwhile will probably suck. My first year with H didn’t suck, but there was a definite learning curve. I had no idea how to treat someone who was always kind and respectful to me, or how to manage a healthy relationship. That took at least a year, presuming that I’ve learned it now. 😉

I guess the question is, what should I do next? I’m def gonna stick it out with the magazine, for as long as my computer allows it, at least. It’s maddeningly slow at times, but it’s still chugging right along. But I’m thinking of doing some self-publishing since I actually seem to know how. I haven’t been writing much fiction, and I really need to be working on Millicent Mixter. I’m writing that one using Scrivener. That’s a sweet program, though I wish it had some color adjust options. Black on White is not a great color scheme for me.

How and When I learned *Computers* )

That’s funny, because I don’t even have an iPhone.

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