Yeah, it’s the same depression and doubt that happens all the time.
I’d been sleeping too much and tired all the time, even waking up often in the middle of the night. That hasn’t happened much since I started using a CPAP. Turns out, my sinuses were stuffy and it was impeding my breathing. Since I still have decent health insurance, I got my nasal spray refilled and that’s going well.
Speaking of insurance, if the ACA repeal goes through, I’ll be fucked. Like a lot of you, it took me years of trial and error (in which I destroyed relationships, jobs, my own credibility, pursuing career goals, etc etc) to find a med combination that worked without debilitating side effects.
If the repeal goes into effect, no insurance company will be required to cover prescription drugs. Also, no mental health care so even if talk therapy was enough without meds (it isn’t), I wouldn’t even be able to see anyone for less than $200 an hour. My meds are not generic, so those would be at least $350 a month for one, and $750 a month for the other. That’s not counting anything I take for blood pressure, which is some. A few of those are generic, which means I probably could afford enough to not die. But since I’ll be making the lives of everyone around me miserable–that’s not exactly a blessing.
Funny, since every time someone wants to talk about gun violence, the GOP explains that the “real” problem is inadequate mental health care. Their solution is to take away mental health care–not just for the 24 million people who will lose health care, but for the roughly 2/3 of us not rich enough to afford comprehensive plans and the giant deductibles they’ll carry.
So yeah, that’s gonna suck.
On the plus side, I might be heading toward a manic binge. Yeah, that sucks for my happiness and well being and all. But I’m getting actual fiction writing done. The screenplay is slowly happening, and short fictions are happening even faster.
I was able to put together a new collection bag for my Arizer today. Most of you probably don’t know what that is or why it’s awesome. But I assure you, it’s a wee accomplishment that gives me a slight sense of pride.