Wish I had some willpower

If I’m trying to be more positive, going on the internet after a polarizing news event is something best avoided. But no…I read all the stories including a transcript of that absurd manifesto. I read all through the #YesAllWoman tag on Twitter until it was hijacked by ugly haters. I fully expect all the pro-control v anti-control BS whenever there’s a shooting. It often boils down to “Let’s get guns out of the hands of criminals and crazy people” versus “Nobody and nothing has a right to get between me and mah gunz.” I hear people fearing that someone will come take their guns away, but I’ve never heard anyone in authority actually say they wanted to do this.
Please correct me if I’m wrong–but there has been no restrictive gun legislation passed since Obama became president. We’ve done more to stop the scourge of baggy pants than that of gun violence. I don’t know anyone personally who thinks no one should have guns, ever. Most people are more reasonable than that.

However, this latest massacre is more about men versus women. Or rather, who owes what to whom and what the unhappy party has a right to do when their needs aren’t met. A few weeks ago, I was unfriended by someone who posted a friend-zone comic. The punchline indicated that the girl (who asked an angel for a nice guy to fall in love with) was called a bitch and told that she “friendzoned” him. I suggested that this “joke” was hateful and sexist, and was told in return that friendzoning works both ways and that it’s nothing against women.

As a fat chick, I have to laugh. As a person who grew up with appallingly low self esteem, I had lots of crushes and came to think that I’d like myself better if a cool guy liked me. In my defense, I was a young stupid kid–sort of like this guy. I was also mentally ill, like this guy. But nobody ever tells guys who reject fat girls how “mean and shallow” they’re being. Nor did anyone suggest that I “keep at him” or try to “wear him down” or “show him how amazing I really am.”
No…I was told to lose weight, get nicer clothes, all manner of shallow shit. The point was that if men didn’t like me, I was supposed to change myself rather than blaming the men. Of course, I didn’t blame the men, I blamed my own perceived ugliness. But if chicks don’t like a “nice” guy (never mind that nice guys aren’t pro-torture and don’t generally murder people in drive-bys) then they are bitches. And bitches deserve what they get. The internet aftermath and the teenage girl with a FB shooter fan page are evidence that plenty of people still have whacked views on male-female-relationships.

Like most of you, I expect a certain level of stupidity whenever I go online. What I don’t expect to see are grown-ass men who say asinine things like “Men and Women have it equally bad.” Speaking for myself, I literally do not know a woman who hasn’t been raped, stalked, menaced, manhandled, or experienced other physical attempts to sexually control or manipulate them. I would be very surprised to learn that this is true of all men. Personally, I’ve been hit by several times as many men as I’ve actually taken a swing at.
It baffles me that there are men, even men who call themselves feminists, who honestly don’t see that women have things foisted on them daily that men don’t have to deal with. As a fat chick, I’m not sexually harassed often, but it’s not like it doesn’t happen. More often though, I’m treated as a non-entity because I have the audacity to present myself in such a way that strangers don’t immediately want to fuck me at first glance. The nerve of that woman, not being sexy. Duh, being sexy is what women are FOR.

So yeah, agree or disagree about gun control, or mental illness. But to pretend that women aren’t on the receiving end of a tidal wave of aggressive inappropriateness, or that we’re often dismissed or laughed off when we call people out on it–? C’mon. If you really don’t think that happens on a daily basis, you need to open your fucking eyes.

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