Internet Corrections:

Hey Internets, I see enough of this crap around that I’m just gonna correct everyone at once.

1. It’s possible to drive a Prius and not be gay, a wimp, a liberal, or a self-righteous asshole. Also, judging someone by their car makes you lazy and dumb.

2. Chris Christie’s biggest and most mockable problem isn’t his weight. It’s that he’s another GOP asshole who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the poor, and thinks “the gays” don’t deserve “special rights.”

3. Obama didn’t lie about people keeping their old plans. What he was saying is that there’s nothing in Obamacare that forces people to vacate their own plans, providers, or doctors.
Follow Up: Why are so many people upset about not having a shitty plan anymore?

4. Nobody is staging a “war” on Christmas. We’re still having Christmas. We always have it. You can still camp out for shitty presents at the lowest price, greet people however the hell you want, and drink spiked eggnog to your hearts content all while pretending you live like Jesus.

5. There are not “plenty of reasons” it’s okay to shoot someone for knocking on your door. That said, if everyone did that, there might be a lot less religious zealots bothering people at home.

6. Mom and Pop stores are just as capable of racism, homophobia, and shitty treatment of employees as big stores.

7. Expecting a reasonable amount of dignity and respect on the job is not “whiny pussy crybaby crap” even if the job pays disproportionately well.

8. It’s none of your business how many children other people have.